|Conquer Every Marriage Crisis|
Each relationship has its ups and downs - or marriage is no exception. We take the vow "for better or for worse" but seldom do we worry about what that actually means...until we hit a crisis and feel as though our world (and marriage!) is ending. So how do you deal with a marriage crisis? Follow these five easy steps to ensure you can conquer any marriage crisis.
What is the actual issue?
The first step in conquering any marriage crisis is to get to the root of the problem. It can be too easy to use the current issue and issue as a springboard for all your other little niggles and gripes... so stick to the actual problem you have at this moment in time.
By focusing on the crisis you are currently facing, you stand a good chance of solving it, allowing you both to move forward. If you begin tagging on all your little issues, you will make the problem seem so much bigger than it actually is...or end up saying something you'll regret.
Acknowledge your feelings
It is important to actually acknowledge how you are feeling - and this is what this second step is about. Bottling up those emotions or feelings can be disastrous for your marriage, as we often pile the negativity on top of existing negative comments or thoughts - and then spew it all out when we are arguing with our spouse. It is much better (or healthier for your marriage) if you have a safe way to acknowledge how you are feeling.
Another way of acknowledging your feelings is to write them down in a journal. Make a note of how you're feeling so the situation that created that feeling or emotion. It is also important to keep a record of the good times too - so you can refresh those feel good memories too.
Learn how to communicate
Communication in a marriage is really much more than just saying what you want - it's about learning to listen too - which is our important third step. You need to give each other the opportunity to state what has upset you, as well as how you are feeling, without any interruptions.
It is also essential that you can voice your understanding of the situation and your partners feelings too. Once you have listened to your partner, repeat back the key points they have built to show your understanding, prior to either confirming or disputing these points.
Body language or tone also play a key part in communication. Make sure you are not standing defensively with your arms folded, face your lover or show you are really prepared to listen with an open heart. Make sure you keep your tone calm and your volume low!
Learn how to forgive
Forgiveness is among the most important things you can learn; it may be the fourth step in this article but it is the first step to healing yourself or your marriage problems. Not only does it relieve stress, it also helps one to let go of negative energy. Grudges, hate and disdain all hold negative energy - or holding it inside you will cause you to feel heavy, depressed or resentful.