How to Handle the First Date
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But now let’s go on the actual strategy: First off, when you number close a girl that you are unable to take home immediately after you meet, you need to frame it right away that you and her are going to meet up at a later date for a date.
Texting on the Day of Date You should text details of the meetup a few hours before the date. Prior to the day of the date you will have told her a day and time. Then you will fill in the details the date. So you will text, “meet me at [your address]. I live close to [venue close to you] and they have bangin [margaritas/food/etc]”. “[We can walk there from my place / I’ll drive there from my place].” If the chick is going to cancel, this is usually when she will do it. If she stops responding at this point, you have time to set up a meetup with a different chick or fbuddy (or just to make other plans in general). Sometimes she will say that she isn’t comfortable coming to someone’s house that she doesn’t know. If this is the case, have her meet you at the venue and then you will Seed the pull back to the house during the date. We will also send an indirect confirmation text about an hour before the date. An example is, “feel free to wear high heels tonight cuz i’m 6’4 “. This is another opportunity for them to flake but they’ll probably say something fun back and you’ll say “cool, see you at 7″ or whatever time you agreed upon.
Location of the Meetup The meetup location for the date should be somewhere near the sex location (sex location typically being your house). If you live in a big city or somewhere where you can walk to a venue, this is ideal. If you must drive, pick something that is close by.
When Girl Arrives at your House We give a quick tour of the house and make sure not to touch her or try anything physical with her at this point. This allows her to feel safe coming back after the date. She will have already been in your house and wasn’t sexually advanced upon. We’ll usually have 1 drink with the girl at our place and shoot the shit a bit then tell her let’s go and take her to the day 2 venue.
At the Actual Date Venue You want to “be interested and be interesting”. That is, ask her about what she does, how long she’s lived in the city you live in, what her hobbies are, what her dreams are, etc. Also, tell her about what you do and what you like to do. Just let the conversation steer itself. You can be yourself and just vibe with her, don’t worry too much about telling the right things. It’s 1 on 1 so you don’t have to worry about her friends blocking you. You also don’t need to impress her or come across a certain way to her to “win her over”.
Just be yourself and be comfortable with that. The two main things that you want to accomplish during the date are setting a sexual frame and seeding the pull back to the house for after the date. At some point (usually 1/3 – 1/2 of the way through the date) you want to start suggesting something you are going to do at your house after the date. Either some activity that the two of you would have fun doing or something you want to show her. You also want to start testing the waters for sexuality (set the sexual frame). You can make some suggestive comments and calibrate to how she reacts. You also should be poking her or putting a hand on her leg or being physical naturally in whatever way feels comfortable. This continues the man-woman frame that you set in the initial interaction where you met her. If she responds positively you can push a little further or continue with the physicality and suggestive verbals. If she responds negatively you can laugh it off and tell her you were just teasing or joking. In the case where she responds negatively to your advances, you would then build the vibe and re-test for compliance.
I typically end the date after a couple drinks (or after about an hour). I make sure that the frame for going back to my place is well set and that the physical/sexual frame is cemented. Once these two things are in place, you are pretty much set. When you leave the venue with the girl, you typically can kiss her and/or start making out. We almost never get resistance at this point because she knows what’s up (the sexual frame has been set). We then walk back to the sex location while holding hands. Since the frame for coming back to your house is set and the sexual frame is in place, everything should be fairly smooth with going back to your place. You can stop along the walk here and there for mini-makeout sessions and then push her off jokingly, like “hey not so fast ;)”.
Back at the House Once back at the house, we will typically pour one more drink. Feel out the vibe with the physical touch. That is to say, you could move her near the bedroom and start making out and start to take her into the bedroom. If she doesn’t seem to be entertaining the thought of having sex right away, then you might go and have a drink with her first and talk some more before trying to lead her to the bedroom again. You should do this over and over again until she is ready. Some girls require a second date before they will have sex with you. Other girls really want you to be their boyfriend before you guys have sex.
Do your due diligence in escalation and isolation attempting and make the judgment call if it’s worth it. There’s a lot of experiences guys with women that won’t bother with follow-on dates to the first date since they have so many options, they don’t even care. There are others that won’t deal with prudish girls or girls that want you to be their boyfriend before they hook up. This is your own personal decision. My personal choice is that I will typically
allow a Second Date as long as the girl is really attractive, cool, smart, etc. If there wasn’t much chemistry there, or she was kind of a pain in the ass, or isn’t that well-rounded in terms of what you’re looking for, then you probably shouldn’t bother. Most girls know what’s up since they came back to your house and are engaging in physical contact with you. So using this strategy 90% of the dates should result in sex if you’ve done everything we’ve outlined. Again if you like this strategy and want to know more about the Efficient Pickup Method,
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