Do nice guys really finish last?

There’s one place that no man wants to find themselves in and that’s the dreaded friend zone.

What begins as a potential relationship where you are investing the time and energy into getting to know her, suddenly shifts into some strange, awkward and then way-too-comfortable space where she stops looking at you as a possible love interest and begins to see you like a good, trusted friend.

If you’ve ever experienced this before then you know how hard it can be to change gears and get back into the romantic partner category once she sees you as a buddy.

So, obviously, you need to arm yourself with the tools needed to ensure you never get placed into the friend zone.

Stop Hanging Out and Start Dating

The truth is, whether you end up in the friend zone or not isn’t always within your control, however, there is one thing you can do to set the stage so that your chances of that happening are seriously minimized.

It requires that you stop “hanging out” with the women you’re interested in and you actually start dating them.

Dating involves two people with a potential love interest, you are in a temporarily committed relationship that involves getting to know each other to determine whether you’re romantically compatible.

But there’s a fine line between dating and just hanging out and you need to be very careful not to fall into the wrong category, otherwise, you’ll likely find yourself in the friend zone. And friend zone is nothing short of a lack of sexual interest.

Dating = Pathway to finding romance.
Hanging out = Pathway to becoming friends.

This means every date must have a purpose. For example, you’re not just taking her to a hockey game because you both share a mutual interest in watching the sport.

Sure, the shared interest is great, but it should be the foundation of the date (the setting), not the purpose (to find love).

The purpose is spending time together as a potential couple. It’s seeing how you both interact and engage with one another, how you feel spending a few hours in different settings and situations.   It’s about testing the waters of romance.

So, during that date to the hockey game, consider the different ways you can set the tone so that she knows you are interested in her as more than friends.

Be romantic, be sweet, and above all, be genuine and nurturing.  Engage in conversation that goes beyond surface chatter (read the previous chapter if you need help with that), and always stay focused on the real purpose of the date.

Here are a few tips to keep yourself out of the friend zone:

Be Playful and Flirty

Don’t be afraid to flirt with her.  This banter stage of dating is important because it clarifies your intentions and tells her that you are interested in her, well beyond just friends.

Keep it light, joking and playful.

Don’t be Subtle

Don’t play hard to get or hold back when feeling the attraction.  Men who find themselves in the friend zone are often there because they didn’t make their interest known and instead were subtle flirters.

If you’re worried about coming off too strong, think about the alternative: that you make her feel you just aren’t interested enough.  If you need to turn it down, she’ll let you know.

Build Sexual Tension

As just mentioned, flirting is important because it shows interest in a sexual way, but you want to do your best to work on building sexual tension as well.

You can do this through playful, lingering touching such as placing her hand on her shoulder, or her lower back when guiding her through the crowd.

Women love the possessive touch of a man they’re interested in because it makes them feel special and desired.

Don’t Talk Yourself Down

Guys who end up in the friend zone are notorious for cutting themselves down to lighten conversations or to simply come off as humble.

The truth is men who constantly self-deprecate aren’t sexy.  Sure, you might get a laugh or two and think that you’re being endearing, but when it comes to relationships, you want her thinking of you sexually, not as a stand-up comedian who highlights all the reasons she shouldn’t be attracted to you.

Intense Goodbyes

If the date ends on a high note, let her know that you’re hesitant to end it even though you need to.  Leave her wanting more and always end the date while the excitement and energy are at an all-time high.

It’ll take some experience to know when the timing is right, so keep a pulse on how the conversation is flowing and whether things are moving along or it’s a good time to end the date.