Relationships can be a tumultuous thing; they bring excitement, love, frustration, and loss. That’s the worst part about them through the loss and even worse still the feeling of not knowing what you have until it’s gone.
However, there is a question that has been plaguing our minds here at the bestie office can the heart grow fonder if you feel like the partner slipping through your grasp put simply, does the risk of losing your partner increase romantic attraction?
As well as the first question we should answer before we move on to our focus of the article, how would you lose someone in the first place? How can your relationship go from being this pinnacle of love and desire to a desolate wasteland of broken emotions?
Well, there are a lot of different reasons from differing views to a new lover, but one of the biggest reasons is neglect, neglect is a relationship killer in the hustle and bustle of the world today we often prioritize ourselves which might make our partner feel alone or pushed away do this often enough and eventually they will go away.
Relationship expert Wendy L Patrick Ph.D. puts it like this, taking a partner for granted and change the way we interact, to impact the amount of effort invested in relational maintenance behaviors, or lessen the desire to cherish time spent together but how can people not see this coming?
How do they not notice their partner acting distant and trying to pull away well, wendy has an answer for that as well, perhaps because research suggests that when the perceived risk of a breakup is low, romantic feelings may be lower as well.
Keep in mind that you might also not be feeling romantic towards someone because you think the relationship is pointless, or that it won’t last very long, don’t shock everything up to neglect, however, we’re here to talk about neglect.
So let’s keep going while when the risk of breakup is low the feelings of romance might be low as well, some scientists have found that the complete opposite is true as well, that is to say, when the chance of breakup is high the romantic feelings go through the roof as well – such scientists named Simona skyara, and Giuseppe Pantaleo, demonstrated that manipulating the risk of ending a romantic relationship impacted both the intensity of the romantic effect.
As well as the commitment they explained the results within the context of emotional intensity theory, EIT noting how romantic feelings varied as the risk of relationship breakup was manipulated, their data also showed the result of manipulated risk on romantic commitment were mediated by a romantic effect.
Essentially proving the answer to does the risk of losing a partner increase romantic attraction is yes, so what do you do if you find yourself in a situation where you think your partner might want to leave you? But you have an intense, sudden desire to reclaim the relationship first off have you considered the fact that maybe you shouldn’t, maybe the fact that you only love them when they want to leave is an actually bad sign, you want your relationship to be strong at all times not just when things are bad.
However, if you still insist on trying to get your partner back, don’t worry we’re here to help, you are a couple of quick tips to get the love back into your relationship
Number 1 do some courting
By this, we mean you need to pretend like this is the first time you’ve seen them and ask them out like it’s the first time, remember that excitement and passion you felt at the beginning of your relationship if you’re truly serious about finding that loving feeling again.
You need to recapture that sense of wonder ask your partner out on a date and don’t act mundane about it make them feel special again, do something that they would love make sure to dress up to that’ll make them feel like you’re putting effort into them which of course you are
Number 2 touch
One of the most important senses in a relationship is touch, and the greater good magazine wrote an article stating that the intimacy built by physical touch, is incredibly important to any pairing of people and, it doesn’t always have to be dirty touching either even though in its own respects that is sometimes pretty important.
No, your bodies should always just find each other even in seemingly insignificant ways hugs, massages, holding hands, these are all very important to regaining love in a fractured partnership, here are a couple of quick, specific suggestions we got from a greater good magazine, kiss goodbye when one of you leaves the house and kiss hello upon return.
Groom one another offer to brush his hair or put his lotion or sunblock on, asking for them to help you with your zipper, we offer to tie their tie, make eye contact when you talk it is a powerful form of sensory connection but, the possibilities are endless remember though while touch is good your partner might not always want to be touched that’s where the second most important sense in relationships comes into play speaking of which
Number 3 listen
You better hope you’ve got good listening ears because if you want to inject some love back into your the relationship, you’re going to have to do just that and don’t just sit there staring either contribute to the conversation, follow their passions and remember what they told you about them and be careful what you say during these conversations too
you might be a howtoattractwm reader which means you’re a brilliant, beautiful Titan of a person, however, right now your partner doesn’t see your greatness as we do they might not always want your input especially if they’re feeling down, a study done by the University of Colorado Boulder recommends this.
When your partner complains listen rather than give advice, offer sympathy, you can give advice if it’s asked for or suggests a new perspective if they are thinking themselves into a rut.
But you might do the best just by attentively listening so sit down shut up and just hear what they have to say either your partner will hopefully appreciate your new attentive self or be you’ll discover that your partner and yourself don’t have much in common in which case now you can move on.
Number 4 grow together
human relationships are supposed to be mutually beneficial. That’s how over time, we’ve built towering cities and bustling communities. By having everyone offer something and then bringing it all together, you need to do this in your relationship as well, yes, and you might be growing on your own.
But you shouldn’t leave your partner in the dust while you do it take them along with you even if for a while you need to take the load to know that if you do it the other way around, they will take the load for you as well there are so many ways couples can grow together.
They can take a class to explore, take a trip somewhere the possibilities really are endless, one of the most important aspects of any partnership is to laugh together, so find something that makes you both have fun and just have a merry time, if we could give you any specific advice for this section it’s just do something.
Something new, something exciting, gets out into the world and lives your life with the person of your dreams for goodness sake wait hold on finish the article first got one more section that’s really important.
Number 5 apologize
Remember that your partner is hurt right now you’ve neglected them to the point where you have to inject the love back into the relationship. You need to apologize, look we know it can be hard, especially if you’ve convinced yourself that you haven’t done anything wrong.
However, sometimes people just need to hear the words “I’m sorry,” but how do you do this? You ask well Mayo Clinic, has a guide to apologizing in relationships if you two are ever going to rebuild trust the person in the wrong needs to apologize.
If you betrayed them say you’re sorry to state what you did wrong and how you think it affected them to say why it was wrong and promise you’ll never do it again, you’re going to end with one final quote from our old friend Wendy L Patrick.
She says that nurturing a relationship at all times under all circumstances, even when things are well, can contribute to relational health at all stay ages of romantic involvement, which in turn can increase romantic feelings and relational commitment.
In many cases, such intentional investment can help avoid relational turbulence and ensure smooth sailing, so keep investing in your partner unless, of course, you don’t want to just don’t keep switching back and forth for their sake and for yours.
And so how articles answering the question? Does the risk of losing a partner increase romantic attraction? Is finished what did you learn in our article is there any part of your relationship that you need to re-evaluate now.
Have you experienced this in the past, or is your relationship perfect, and this article was nothing but a reminder that you and your partner are stronger than ever.
Let us know in the comments section below all about your experience with relationships.